5 Dehumanizing Myths About Fat Guys and Dating That People Can’t Excuse

A5 Dehumanizing Myths About Fat Guys and Dating That People Can’t Excuse

A game show where two families compete for a cash prize by trying to find the most popular answers to a variety of questions about a month ago, one of my sisters tagged me in a video she recorded of Family Feud. A girl might opt to be by having a chubby or fat guy. In the episode she recorded, host and comedian Steve Harvey asks the contestants to answer an extremely loaded statement: “Name reasons”

The contestants’ answers end up supplying a round that is humorous the minds for the contestants, Steve Harvey, and presumably the viewers.

But my sister didn’t share this movie on her behalf Facebook page to garner laughs from her relatives and buddies. It absolutely was just the opposite: my cousin had been aggravated in the round’s subject as well as the responses offered. My cousin penned:

“This actually bothers me personally! This is the reason individuals think you should be skinny/fit become stunning, to be desired, to be liked, also to deserve anything…this is certainly not OK! ”

My sister tagged me personally in this article once you understand my back ground in fat studies and sex studies (so that as a fat masculine person), once you understand i might concur together with her frustrations.

Image description: A screenshot for the Family Feud game board using the six most well known answers: “Fatty got cash” (34 away from 100 individuals surveyed), “She’s fat/digs food” (23/100), “She’ll look better” (12/100), “She’s in love” (9/100), “He’s warm/cuddly” (6/100), and “He won’t cheat” (4/100). The single thing this particular round of Family Feud does correctly is summarize a number of the unfortunate fables our society perpetuates about fat individuals — specifically, fat guys — and relationships.

But, calling away myths that are fatphobic demonstrably perhaps maybe not the game’s aim. Alternatively it perpetuated body terrorism against fat bodies to get cheap laughs. Let’s proceed through each one of the top six many answers that are popular order to better understand how they’re inaccurate and bad for males of size.

1. “Fatty Got Money! ”: Fat Men Are Only Valuable For Their Cash or Power

The misconception: the reality that this misconception is the most popular regarding the six offered responses — 34 associated with 100 individuals initially surveyed offered this or even a similarly-worded response — is troubling by itself. This misconception is one thing we come across throughout US tradition, whether or not it’s in movies, politics, or popular tradition.

The general assumption is that this fat man has to have money or some sort of power if a classically attractive person of any gender is with a fat man. Why else would an individual who could presumably get with anybody they desired prefer to get with a disgusting fat guy, right?

This type of idea is incredibly damaging for a complete large amount of fat males, placing almost all their value as individuals in to the cash or energy they might or might not have.

More reads that are radical going from Healthism to Radical Self-Love: the person when you look at the Photo

The reality: While you can find, needless to say, many people whom just look for relationships for the money or energy, the reality is that frequently, individuals will choose to be having a man that is fat they really wish to be with him. This misconception is significantly less usually put on thin or “fit” males, unless of course see your face is famous to possess money or energy. However it’s much easier for folks to comprehend two skinny or traditionally appealing people being together because they’re drawn to one another than when a thin or person that is traditionally attractive become having a fat guy for any other less shallow reasons.

2. “She’s Fat/Digs Food”: Fat People Just Like Other Fat Individuals

The myth: Using this misconception, we see exactly just how individuals make an effort to simply take people’s that are away fat. It signifies that fat individuals will only be in a position to have relationships along with other fat individuals, because they only find other fat people attractive or that’s all they can “get”, in the most brutal of terms whether it’s.

Slipped into this misconception is a relevant fatphobic misconception: that most fat individuals love for eating lots of food, and all sorts of individuals who want to consume food are fat.

The facts: Put plainly, the presumption that fat individuals will just look for relationships along with other people that are fat false. Humans — fat, skinny, as well as in between — could be and sometimes are drawn to a wide selection of individuals of all of the sizes and shapes. To assume that fat individuals will just ever be with fat people reaches ab muscles least ignorant, or even entirely fatphobic and sizeist.

So when when it comes to proven fact that fatness is inherently correlated with (over)eating — that is another misconception too.

3. “She’ll Look Better”: Fat Guys Are Ugly

The misconception: All men that are fat in accordance with this worldview, are inherently less appealing than any partner they are able to ever have. Such men’s lovers would just utilize them to show up more appealing in contrast. This misconception makes the assumption that, as previously mentioned above, no body could conceivably maintain a relationship having a man that is fat they’re actually interested in him. Fat folks are merely tools to make their (presumably non-fat) lovers feel more desirable.

The facts: in the same way many people might pursue a man that is fat money or power, some individuals might only pursue fat males to appear more desirable to other people. In fact, though, this appears to be less frequent than this response could have us believe.

I’ll keep saying the purpose, even though I seem like a broken record: lots of people really find fat men appealing!

4. “She’s In Love”

It was really the only truly mocking-free solution included in the utmost effective responses regarding the board. That by itself is illustrative for the entrenched fatphobia on display into the remaining portion of the responses. It will come in at 9/100, and thus away from 100 individuals surveyed, “She’s in love” had been the clear answer written by just nine individuals.

What exactly are fat males viewing likely to think of their health and their worth as people?

5. “He’s Warm/Cuddly”: Fat Men Are Great For Cuddling Yet Not Intercourse

The misconception: that is one particular “positive stereotypes” many of us make an effort to used to buttress their blatant bigotry. It’s somewhat similar to statements like “all Asians are smart” or “all gay men are trendy and confident. ”

Fat men are stereotyped to be hot and cuddly, although not much else in the “positive” side of stereotyping. As proof of this, among the game show contestants offered a remedy that finished up maybe maybe not being regarding the board: that a female would date a man that is fat he had been proficient at sex. Steve Harvey, in their “comedic” fashion, reacted just as if this was the essential answer that is outrageous the entire world, aided by the other participants as well as the market laughing in contract. In that way, the show promoted the idea that while fat guys can cuddly be warm and, they aren’t to be seen as intimate beings, let alone “good” at sex.

The reality: the matter with “positive stereotypes” is they anyone that is automatically alienate does not participate in those stereotypes. A whole lot worse, they alienate anybody who would like to be viewed much more than simply the caricature of themsleves painted by culture.

Really the only quality that is redeeming tradition permits fat guys — if they aren’t rich or effective, rather than even 100% regarding the time — is the fact that they’re like fluffy teddy bears. Even though many fat guys are certainly “warm and cuddly, for them to see this as their only positive trait” it’s harmful.

Further, what somebody perceives to be that is“good “bad” at sex is generally entirely subjective and located in personal preference. Ridiculing the idea that fat males could possibly be “good” at intercourse further entrenches fatphobia that is systemic.

6. “He Won’t Cheat”: Fat Men Are Too Eager For Like To Be Unfaithful

The misconception: Fat men won’t ever cheat on their lovers, the thinking goes, simply because they wouldn’t do just about anything to destroy the “only sure thing” they have inside their current relationship. Simply put, they already know that no body else may wish to be together with them.

The reality: To place it bluntly, it is directly incorrect. This dehumanizing survey solution assumes that fatness is inherently correlated with desperation for intimate and attention that is romantic.

As damning as it might be to acknowledge, fat males are just like likely as some other guys to cheat on the lovers. And much more crucially, this misconception posits that fat males are incredibly ugly, nobody would provide them to be able to cheat to their lovers my dirty hobby, which, once again, can be drastically wrong to assume.

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